Father Christmas

Dear Father Christmas,

While everyone is asking you to get them something, I'll be a good boy and choose only to ask you to bring something away instead:

1. Jackie Chan (Hate him hate him I just hate him)
2. People who refuse to put their feet off the seat in the Tube
3. Nasty defence lawyers who think they are smarter than prosecutors (well of course the fact is vice versa)
4. The whole Manchester
5. That Kate Moss's boyfriend (at least take him off my newspapers pls. How this ugly person has become so famous is totally beyond me)
6. George W Bush
7. Files on my desk
8. Justin Timberlake's song "Sexy Back" (I'm doing u a favour Jon)

Oh yeah, and if you do come in through the chimney, can you please also bring all the dust inside away? Actually all the dust in my flat please.


And you may want to put a shirt or something on when you come. It's kinda cold here in London lately.

Merry Xmas!

Lenny Boy xxx